Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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