Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
