hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've blown a few things in my day
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
