i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
