On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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