I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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