She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
