you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
