whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
