Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize