you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
