So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
