Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
