i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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