I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize