Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
