bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
