I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
