after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
