Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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