just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize