I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Please don't give away my fajitas
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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