Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
