You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
