her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
