Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
