So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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