got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
