Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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