Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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