you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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