Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
