i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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