very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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