I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Small penises have feelings too.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
