Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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