The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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