I must be too annoying 4 u.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
