I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
