So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think i peed on brittanys purse
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
