Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
