I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
