Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize