so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
People in love make me want to vomit
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
