I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
