I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
