Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
