Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
