She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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