"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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