Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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