She is in my trunk
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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