its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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