sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
