I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
