Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
