i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
