A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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