I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
