she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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