Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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