Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
