Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
