i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm passing your future prison.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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