she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize