With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
